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Scientists have discovered that not only do men get dumb in the presence of women, but that just the mention of a woman’s name can have the same effect.

Psychologist Johan Karremans and author of the study, Sanne Nauts, distributed the Stroop test (just a basic cognitive test) to 71 men and women and asked them to respond via instant message from a “monitor” that would pop up either a guy or girl’s name. While womens’ cognitive skills weren’t affected either way, the guys, although completely unaffected by a fellow guy’s name, failed in their cognitive skills miserably after they heard a woman’s name.

During a second experiment, all the participants were told that a man or woman would be IMing them. Even though no IMs were sent, the guys still got all flustered, and again failed. The reasoning for it is unclear, but Naults’ explanation is that men just may be more likely “to perceive relatively neutral situations in sexualized terms” than women. Ha! Thanks Mr. Obvious.

In an attempt to win a small court battle, PepsiCo, Mountain Dew’s parent company, has made a bizarre statement about mice dissolving in the drink before consumption. It’s exactly what it sounds like. One mouse allegedly didn’t fully dissolve in a can of the citrus drink, sending them to court.

Experts called in by PepsiCo’s lawyers offered an explanation for why it couldn’t be true: the Mountain Dew would have dissolved the mouse, turning it into a “jelly-like substance,” had it been in the can of fluid from the time of it’s bottling until the day the plaintiff opened it, 15 months later. However, countering experts say drink would still contain the dead mouse, which Pepsi has failed to deny. In addition, there is always that small percent of any statistic that shows otherwise. If 100 people eat pizza every day, there will still be at least a couple days when one of those people decides not to eat pizza. 

Forget about the legal disputes, is Mountain Dew crazy enough to dissolve mice carcasses? And what does that do to your intestines? Is Mountain Dew’s classic slogan “It’ll tickle your innards” the world’s most sickening understatement?

Even though no published studies have been done on how rapidly Mountain Dew dissolves mice, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the neon green soda can eat away teeth and bones in a matter of months and would likely do a number on a small rodent.

Yan-Fang Ren of the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry, who has studied the effects of citric acid on bones and teeth, agrees with PepsiCo: “I think it is plausible that it could dissolve a mouse in a few months, but dissolving [the mouse] does not mean it will disappear, because you still have the collagen and the soft tissue part. It will be like rubber.”

Research shows that drinks such as Mountain Dew and Sprite erode tooth enamel around six times faster than colas such as Coca-Cola and Pepsi. That’s because Coke and Pepsi contain phosphoric acid which gives it a tangy taste, while citrus drinks such as Mountain Dew and Sprite contain citric acid to do the same job.

When Fraunhofer’s teem soaked human molars in Mountain Dew for two weeks (a time period comparable to about 13 years of normal beverage exposure), they calculated the teeth lost more than 6 percent of it’s volume.  

Citric Acid in Mountain Dew would eat away a mouse’s bones in a similar manner as it erodes teeth, breaking down the chemical bonds that hold the tissue togeather by infiltrating them with positively charged particles and the acid can also “combine with calcium in the bones, taking it away quicker,” Ren stated.

Your stomach and intestines are built to withstand a variety of acidic digestive juices. For people with a healthy digestive tracks, a little extra acid from the drink, which passes through quickly, shouldn’t harm your stomach like it does your teeth. Mountain Dew does contain orange juice, however, it contains no vitamin C. You should minimize contact with teeth by taking large gulps rather than small frequent sips, then washing your mouth out with water. Or you could just use a straw.

An Illinois man sued Pepsi in 2009 after he claims he “spat out the soda to reveal a dead mouse,” he then sent the mouse to Pepsi, who destroyed the remains.

Trying to get your guy to open up about whats bothering him? According to a new study, most men think discussing problems is a waste of time.

That attitude also applies to male children. The study, soon-to-be published in the journal Child Development, found that when it comes to opening up about their issues, little boys seems to feel the same way as grown men.

“For years, popular psychologists have insisted that boys and men would like to talk about their problems but are held back by fears of embarrassment or appearing weak,” said Amanda J. Rose, associate professor of psychological sciences in the University of Missouri College of Arts and Science.

“However, when we asked young people how talking about their problems, boys didn’t express angst or distress about discussing problems any more than girls,” Rose noted. “Instead, boys’ responses suggest that they just don’t see talking about problems ot be particularly useful activity.”

Now stop bitching and leave me alone.

Money brings happiness, according to new research.

The researchers found that 50 percent of those bringing home more than 80,000 dollars are satisfied with life, compared to just 43 percent of those with an income of less than $24,000. About 47 percent of people in the high-income group feel they have achieved their goals, compared to 31 percent of the poorest group, according to data company Mintel.

“It appears that money can buy you happiness, and affluence pays a pivotal role in financial outlook,” Mintel’s senior consumer analyst Alexandra Richmond said. ”The higher income earners are less financially stretched and although they may notice prices rising, it is unlikely to cause them too much concern. A lack of money holds people back from realizing their dreams.”

Sounds pretty obvious to me….when somebody gets paid, they’re happy. Duh.